1996/1/11 COCO Waking from a Dream Dream
(dream) An afternoon nap dream, at home on New Year's Day. On the other side of the kitchen is a space in which my husband's relatives and my grandparents live. At a glance, it is a splendid Japanese-style room. I meet my grandmother whom I haven't seen in the kitchen in quite a while. "How old are you now?" I ask her. She replies, "77 this year. At 77 I have a 48% chance of living until next year. I wonder how much longer I really do have?" I am thinking, don't say such things and you'll live long. After all, my father-in-law is 76, still working and crisp.
I awake from my nap and sit stupefied on the sofa. There is yokan (sweet-bean jelly) on the table before me. It is cut in slices half as thin as usual, and then crosswise in thirds into oblong pieces. I think yokan is tastier eaten like this in little bits at a time. I am sipping green tea that I poured earlier in the afternoon and has gotten cold thinking I'd like some of this yokan. My husband arrives back from a trip to the filling station for gas. I hear his footsteps. (The end.)
I awake to find that my husband has not yet returned. He returns about five minutes later. The tea I was drinking in the dream sits untouched. My grandmother passed away 23 years ago.
return to "Closed Box"